Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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