I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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