oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
