I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
