i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
