I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
