I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
