Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
