Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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