I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
