thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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