My room smells like vodka and shame
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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