Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
