It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
