And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
