I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
