Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
