Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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