im holly from the hills drunk
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
