Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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