No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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