Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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