Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
