i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
