did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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