i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
