whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
