Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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