naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were trust falling into bushes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
