Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
