I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
