My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
