my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
one might say we're banned from that church
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
