She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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