I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
