Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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