420 ftw
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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