so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
