watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
