so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
