Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
