Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
