iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
