My balls are so social today.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Enjoy the penises
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
