ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
