all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
