And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
