i permit you to call me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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