let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
