My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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