I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
