mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize