I need help removing her.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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