hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
