Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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