everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
