took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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