I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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