I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
