after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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