At least make sure they are 18
Why
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
