She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Farmville is her only friend.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
