Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's blow job season.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
